You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize