I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Randomize
