I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
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