I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
lets start a swedish sibling band together
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
