Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
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