yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
i think my cat just said my name.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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