Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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