idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Randomize
