you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
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