She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Randomize
