i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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