I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
My feet surprised me
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
