"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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