It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
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