trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize