she was so not down for the gang bang
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
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