I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I need a burrito and a hug.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
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