before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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