Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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