office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
