Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
The uberlube is also flammable
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
