you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize