I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
