he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
