i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
