I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize