do herpes really smell.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
