I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Randomize
