garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
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