Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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