I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
