Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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