im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
