Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
