Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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