Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
