ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
