Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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