My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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