so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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