Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Randomize
