Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
