marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Randomize
