Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Randomize
