I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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