If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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