he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Randomize
