I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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