Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
