I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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