OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
He did a backflip because drugs
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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