You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
