turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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