There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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