hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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