God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
