Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize